Dec 2, 2013

Things I can learn about taxes from a Newborn child: Part #1



Recently, I finished publishing my first e-book and my second child was born. Now, you know why I have disappeared from the face of the tax blogging world for the last three months. After months of hard work, my book currently sold less than 10 copies. I still believe that my book is the world's funniest tax advice book. Who knows maybe Oprah might discover my book and I will become an instant millionaire. To ease the pain from disappointing book sales, God (and my wife) blessed me with my first daughter. I already have one three-year old son. My daughter was born on November 18th and I already see the world differently. Could it be that my view of taxes change too?

Since, I'm now sleep deprived, it is only right to compare taxes and taxpayers with a newborn. My first lesson is that no matter how hard you try to satisfy a newborn, he or she will still cry in less than two hours. As a tax accountant, I must stop trying to change the world. Let's face it, people will never stop complaining about taxes. I can find many different ways to teach people how to minimize their taxes and two hours later they become too lazy to learn from my lesson. My newborn daughter gets fed and then falls asleep. Two hours later, my daughter acts like nothing happened before she fell asleep! I can't sleep-train a newborn and I can't force a taxpayer to listen to my advice!

Just like newborns, taxpayers only listen to what they want to hear. It is so easy to hate the IRS but it is these corrupt politicians that make the tax laws. Any time I tell people about this fact, they look at me like I'm retarded. They want me to bash and talk lowly about the IRS. Any parent with a newborn knows that you can't reason with their newborn child. Just like my newborn daughter, I care for my readers but it may be unreasonable to believe that all of them will learn from me. Most taxpayers believe they have grown with age but in reality they are just as bad as newborn baby. Taxpayers hate taxes but don't want to get up and vote! Due to their laziness, we continue to have the same lame politicians year after year. We can't spark a tax revolution by just yelling at a TV! Yelling at Bill O'Reilly will not lower taxes for the middle class. Wake up America!

The truth is sometimes hard to hear or read. As usual, whether right or wrong, I will share my honest opinions about taxes and taxpayers. There will be more lessons about newborns and taxes. Matter of fact, expect a separate series comparing toddlers and taxes. No more Mr. Nice Tax Guy. If you want textbook tax answers.....google it!

 I'M BACK!!!!


The world funniest tax advice book is available at http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00FMGH9P6
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2 comments:

Unknown said...

First of all, congratulations on the e-book! I agree with you when you said how people tend to rely on their accountants. I guess they just find it easier for them to deal with taxes that way and that they have no time to do it themselves. Well, not everyone truly knows the zigzags of accounting. This only proves that accounting services are still in demand.

Neil Dando

February 18, 2014 at 8:20 AM
Unknown said...

I agree with you. The IRS gets so much heat, when in fact they are just following orders. In fact, they should be commended for doing their jobs even if it means being hated for it. Nonetheless, it’s hard to blame the people if they don’t understand. Finance is such a tough subject even for experts. How much more for the average person?

Angel Richards

March 17, 2014 at 8:45 AM

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